Adult Dating

So you’ve read my Why I hate the Bar Scene article and you are ready to enter the world of online adult dating. Here are some simple Do’s and Dont’s that, although simple, should help to provide you with a better online dating experience. (Note: These tips are strictly for romantic dating and not geared toward intimate dating)

DO:
Make sure you fill out all fields provided by the adult dating site you are becoming a member of to the best of your ability and as honestly as possible. Make sure you write a good amount of text about yourself and try to describe yourself and your interests the way you see them from your point of view. Let yourself be yourself. Make sure your personality shows through in your writing so that you can convey an accurate representation of who you are.

DON’T:
Adult dating sites can only give you back what you put into them. Don’t write things like, “I will add more later”. Do it now. You’re right there so you may as well complete what you started. After all, you are there to meet people and if you are serious about finding a dating partner complete this process and show others that you are serious. Use complete sentences and complete words. Do not type things like, “cuz” or “b4″ or “U”.

DO:
Add a good, clear, bright photo to your profile. Add several, at least three. Take a shot inside and outside. The camera can be tricky sometimes and some people take a more accurate representation (better picture) of themselves either inside or outside.

DON’T:
Do not add a picture of yourself that is too dark. Nothing is more frustrating for adult dating site members than having to get real close to the monitor and squint there eyes in order to see what color your hair is. If you want to take a picture of dog, make sure you are also in the picture. I’ve seen many pictures on adult dating sites where there are four pictures available for viewing where the first picture is the person I’m interested in and the next three are of their dog. I’m not here to date their dog. Also, DO NOT upload a picture of you with your neighbors or friend’s child! They may not appreciate you putting a picture of their child on the Internet and, after all, this is an adult dating site, not a child pageantry.

DO:
Write a good subject line. Write a subject line that stands out. Adult dating site members can receive quite a bit of email, so you want to stand out from the crowd. Remember, the subject line is the first thing visible.

DON’T:
Do not leave the generic subject line that is automatically generated when creating a new email. Doing so will make you look lazy or imply that you do not have much to say or are unoriginal. It does not mean that you are, however, this is something the reader may extrapolate.

DO:
Write something interesting, perhaps about yourself. Make sure you end the initial email with a question or two to make it easier for the recipient to reply with follow up correspondence. Also, sign the email with your name. Doing so makes the entire adult dating process more personable and “real”.

DON’T:
If you want to receive a reply, don’t simply write “hi, I like your profile” in your initial correspondence. Doing so is extremely flat and does not exactly warrant a reply from the recipient. If you do get a reply, it may consist of a simple “thanks”. At that point, you are back to square one and have basically wasted time and also have diminished the chance of another reply.

DO:
Be polite! Remember, these are real people with real feelings. You are at an adult dating site with other people who are mutually looking to meet. If you are serious about meeting other singles, be respectful. Wouldn’t you expect the same?

DON’T:
Do not be lewd! Women especially are not receptive to such initial correspondence. If you are not here for dating and are looking more for a sexual dating encounter or “hook up”, you are in the wrong place. If you are looking for sites that cater to sexual adult dating, have a look here for a list of sites that will accommodate you.

These are just a few, brief tips I’ve put together. I will write more tips soon. I hope these simple tips will get you started and enhance your online adult dating experience.

I don’t know if it’s Hollywood movies, tabloids, shitty television programming or simply the decay of society. All I know is that nine times out of ten, once people are in a bar, they are not normal. If by chance the behavior they exhibit while in the bar is normal for them, then I never want to see that person…ever.

A quick note on the guys. Trouble. I don’t care what age the guys are, most of them, by nights end, are looking for trouble. At least the ones that did not find a “hook up”, which happens to be 99% of them. If they didn’t come to the bar looking for trouble, they are certainly looking for it after dealing with bout after bout of rejection from the women. You know exactly what I mean. You could try to be friendly and give the short smile and the quick head nod when the alley is tight and you need to squeeze by each other, but that cordial gesture could ignite an incident. You, after having been polite, receive the typical “do you have a problem” response. At this point you simply shake your head in disbelief, however this reflex response only escalates the situation. The fellow now taps his buddy on the shoulder, they both look at you and proceed to walk towards you. You know the drill, it happens all the time.

On to the fun part…the women. Girly power.

I had no idea there were so many super models abound. At least, at the bars, all the women seem to think they are super models and us lowly men are lucky to even be in the same presence of these omnipotent beings. That’s right, all of a sudden these average women who are all primped out to the nines look at you as if you are a lowly peon that can offer the world nothing (unless of course you are totally loaded and she knows it). The attitude they now posses exudes through their skin. Wielding the look and emitting that vibe of “do not dare come over and try to talk to me. I will laugh in your face and mock you, little man.” It’s comical really, but still does you no good when you want to get some action for yourself.

You’re a nice guy, so when you do try to talk to them in a respectable manner, they do not even give you the courtesy of looking at you when something resembling a conversation ensues. Their eyes wander around the room. One hand holding their drink and the other holding the straw in the drink, rowing it in circles simply as a means to pass the time with a look of disdain from the boredom of the conversation at hand that she has heard 100 times already this evening. If she does not cut you off and tell you that she needs to go talk to her girlfriend, she will ask you to buy her a drink. You think, “woohoo!, I’m in! She wants me to buy her a drink so that must mean she is in to me.” Wrong. She just wants a free drink. As soon as you come back with her drink, now is the time she needs to talk to her girlfriend. You didn’t eve get her name, but she got a free drink. If for some reason she approaches you later in the evening, chances are she just needs another drink. She will smile and say something coy to you to get what she wants. After all, who doesn’t enjoy a free drink.

This will happen to you several times throughout the evening. By this time you feel like a sucker…because you are. Women have all the power in these situations. They flex their girly power like weight lifters in the Mr. Universe competition and there is nothing you can do about given the circumstances.

you the dancer

Most women like to dance. In fact, a lot of them have only gone to the place you are at ONLY to dance. It’s true. But you don’t know this. You think they are there for the same reason you are there, to pick someone up. You don’t dance. You look like a Proboscis monkey when you dance, but you figure, what the heck. If you want some, you need to at least try to dance. Of course, you crash and burn. How do you know you’ve failed? When the girl you come up on to dance with gives you that look. That roll her eyes, tilt her head to the ceiling look as she promptly turns away from you. Not only do you feel ridiculous, but you look it too. So, you may ask, what is the solution to end all of this misery?

Ah, the Internet. I will give you all of the information that you need, that you require, that you crave. I will tell you how to meet real people who are on the same page as you. No games. No attitude. Just real. I will tell you where these people can be found…in the next article.