Adult Dating

I think that one side effect of adult dating and online dating sites is that we become desensitized.  There is no avoiding it.  When we begin correspondence with someone online they may not respond.  A form of rejection.  They may say a few words then only to simply disappear.  After we’ve experienced this a few times, this will vary for each individual, it becomes second nature to not even flinch.  The same occurs in the “real” adult dating world.  When we meet people in a bar and try to initiate conversation, they may simply walk away.  Worse, they may make an uncouth comment and then walk away.

We begin to take things in stride.  Our ego’s are no longer hurt or bruised.  This type of desensitization does not always stop here, however.  It may affect how we interact with people we would like to meet.  Perhaps we begin to hold back about what we share right away with a potential adult dating partner.  Perhaps we become a little more aloof.  I suppose this could be a defense mechanism, however I think it is simply more about not caring as much.

For those of us who are new to the adult dating scene we may fight this natural progression.  Resistance is futile as it is a naturally occurring progression.  We can not hide from nor fight human nature.  I also believe that this desensitization of the adult dating world happens because the people we interact with have already come to the point we ourselves may just be realizing.  They exhibit the behavior of not caring (by not giving the time of day, let alone a polite response).  It basically perpetuates itself.

The effects of being desensitized does not stop here and can be more widespread.  For instance, we may not offer the support to our friends that may be in relationship trouble.  We may simply just not care.  We may even offer the wrong advice or tell them to not worry about it because relationships are a dime a dozen.  When we have been out in the wild that is the adult dating for a while, people almost begin to feel…disposable.  I know it sounds harsh and awful, but it does happen.

The only reason I’m talking about this today is that I want people to be aware that adult dating can desensitize us to certain aspects of life and the effects can be insidious.  Realize that a certain amount of desensitization in the adult dating world can be positive, but it really should be kept in check.  This can only happen once you are aware of it’s existence.

Is there an end to the detriment that this behavior can exude left unleashed and unchecked?  I don’t have that answer and ultimately it is up to the individual as such effects are always unique to each individual.  However, I think that things can change when a person has success in the adult dating world and finds themselves in a relationship.  So, there is hope.

In the end, do not be afraid of being desensitized.  It may or may not happen.  Inevitably, your adult dating experiences will, like all experiences, lend themselves to shaping who you are.

You’ve heard of DUI (driving under the influence), and now you are going to learn about CUI (chatting under the influence) and how it can ruin an online adult dating prospect.  Everyone likes to have fun now and then, but make sure your “fun having” does not disrupt your adult dating experience.

We’ve all heard of it, we all know of it and yet…we all still do it.  You’re with your friends and you decide to tie one on for the evening.  You and your friend part ways at the closing of the evening.  But you are just getting going now.  You couldn’t just leave it at a good night.  You quickly recollect that adult dating member you are anxious to talk to again.  Let’s send that adult dating member an email!  Better yet. let’s see if that adult dating member is online and up for a chat!

Ah ha!  You’re in luck!  That adult dating member IS online.  You initiate a chat.  The adult dating member accepts and you begin to type.  What makes sense in your mind is really nothing more than a streaming of babble akin to sour milk that is polluting the screen with your minutiae.  You think you are a king saying all of the right things to his people.  You are the greatest man alive.  If she does not like what you are saying, it must be the adult dating members fault for not realizing who you are.  You are the shit after all.

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  But when you wake up the next day and the haze starts to lift after a few minutes, it hits you.  Oh shit, what the hell did I do last night?  Did I…no, I didn’t.  But you did.  And you know it.

You rush to the computer to see what you may have fired off in an email to that adult dating member.  As you begin to read, your jaw is dropping, widening with every line you read.  You quickly realize that you have not only made a complete ass of yourself, but you have unequivocally drove that one adult dating member away.  That one adult dating member that you were sure you could have really connected with and possibly have formed a meaningful adult relationship.  You slap your forehead…hard.

The moral of the above is simple.  You know you are not supposed to do it…so don’t!  Don’t let a little fun ruin your adult dating experiences.  Adult dating is difficult enough as it is, so don’t screw up your opportunities.  Learn from your mistakes and you will have a great and fruitful adult dating experience.

This article is a spin off from an adult dating tip article: Adult dating site tip for men

The adult dating article in the link concerns the use of a logical algorithm called “the law of averages”.  The adult dating article in the link concentrates on email.  In this adult dating article I am going to advance that idea and illustrate a more widespread type of thinking.  If you would like to increase your ability to find adult dating partners and increase the frequency of your adult dating experiences, please read on.

Many adult dating sites exist on the Internet today and that number is rapidly increasing.  Join as many adult dating sites as you can.  Let me repeat that, join as many adult dating sites as you can!  Variety is the spice of life and what works for one person may not work for another.  The concept of “I tried it and it didn’t work for me” applies to many instances in life, in business, and in online adult dating.  Just because one of your buddies or girlfriends found the love of their life at one adult dating site, does not guarantee you the same success.  You need to sample and try different adult dating sites to see which one suits you better.  There are several factors and reasons for being a member of more than one adult dating site.  The reason I’ve stated above is just one of them.

You may receive better results from one adult dating site rather than another simply because of that adult dating site’s popularity in your area.  Maybe that adult dating site targets it’s advertising campaign to your region as opposed to other regions.  Maybe that adult dating site just more of a “buzz” in your corner of the world as opposed to other adult dating sites.  This translates into more people on that adult dating site in your area versus other sites.

Perhaps your personality is more in line with other members of one adult dating site as opposed to another.  Just think, when you are out with your friends and you meet new people, don’t some of your friends fit in better at some places that you go to while you fit better into other places?  No one really knows why this happens, but it does happen.  The same unknown rules apply to the world of online adult dating.

Obviously, certain adult dating sites are geared toward sexual encounters while other adult dating sites are geared toward long term dating and yet other adult dating sites are geared toward more of a friend making crowd or networking (social sites ring a bell here).  Sometimes you may feel frisky (it’s normal).  Use the adult dating membership you have at a site geared for intimate encounters to act on that need.  Don’t use an adult dating site for long term dating for that.  Conversely, if you want to date interesting people for more than an intimate encounter, don’t use an adult dating site that it not tailored for that means.

Most importantly, in the adult dating world, put yourself out there.  You are basically advertising yourself.  This does not mean that you lie or embellish who you are, but it does mean that you have to let other people who are in the adult dating world know that you are too.  By joining numerous adult dating sites, you are putting yourself out there.  You are giving yourself a better chance to find opportunities that are in line with your adult dating needs.

Key points

• safety in numbers
• law of averages
• variety
• what works for me may not work for you
• location
• popularity in your area
• different adult dating demographics

Here are two links you can check in order to broaden your adult dating resources:

Adult Personals
Adult Dating

Thanks for reading.