Adult Dating

Once we find ourselves fully immersed in the adult dating scene, we will quickly find ourselves meeting quite a few people.  People will come and people will go.  However, just because some time passes, don’t forget about the friendships you’ve forged.

Now, sadly, there will be times where we will meet someone and develop a correspondence with them that will last more than an hour…and it will end badly.  Maybe you liked her wild and crazy personality…until you realized she was crazy.  Maybe you like his dirty talk…until you realized he was just another perv.  Sometimes we think people are different from who they really are.  Sometimes we give them the benefit of the doubt or give them time to prove themselves otherwise.  And when we can offer them no more chances to prove to us that we can connect on different levels, we part ways into that adult dating abyss.

Other times, are adult dating correspondences simply fade away.  Without warning, they just fizzle out.  The person you met from the online adult dating site and typed to on your IM client is simply gone.  Perhaps you and your new adult dating buddy had some great late night telephone conversations.  One day you just realize that poof, they are gone.  Don’t worry.  You didn’t leave off on bad terms and before you know it one of you will contact the other to say hello or ask how they are doing.  It’s called keeping in touch or “touching base”.  This is just as natural in the adult dating world as it is in the networking that occurs in the “real” world.

Perhaps you really had a fancy for this person that you haven’t spoken to in a while.  Before you know it, you may end up developing or re-kindling a more adult dating type of relationship rather than one that is more along the lines of strictly friendship.  This is a frequent occurrence in the adult dating world.  It’s because life is based on timing.  Sometimes the initial timing is simply just not right and needs to run it’s natural course.  This is also why it is important to maintain a positive, upbeat, non-negative attitude when it comes to adult dating.  You never know what can happen or what the future brings.

Now, by all means, this does not mean that you will find the love of your life in this way.  It simply means that when you think you have lost the chance to experience a certain level of intimacy and romance with a potential adult dating partner, it is not always the case.  The simple moral of this story is to keep your chin up.  Accept people as they are.  Accept that they may have been busy or occupied by something or someone else at the time things seemed to fade.  Patterns in life seem to follow a circular motion, but that does in no way mean we are standing still.

So remember, don’t burn your bridges.  Until next time, be positive and happy adult dating.

I think that one side effect of adult dating and online dating sites is that we become desensitized.  There is no avoiding it.  When we begin correspondence with someone online they may not respond.  A form of rejection.  They may say a few words then only to simply disappear.  After we’ve experienced this a few times, this will vary for each individual, it becomes second nature to not even flinch.  The same occurs in the “real” adult dating world.  When we meet people in a bar and try to initiate conversation, they may simply walk away.  Worse, they may make an uncouth comment and then walk away.

We begin to take things in stride.  Our ego’s are no longer hurt or bruised.  This type of desensitization does not always stop here, however.  It may affect how we interact with people we would like to meet.  Perhaps we begin to hold back about what we share right away with a potential adult dating partner.  Perhaps we become a little more aloof.  I suppose this could be a defense mechanism, however I think it is simply more about not caring as much.

For those of us who are new to the adult dating scene we may fight this natural progression.  Resistance is futile as it is a naturally occurring progression.  We can not hide from nor fight human nature.  I also believe that this desensitization of the adult dating world happens because the people we interact with have already come to the point we ourselves may just be realizing.  They exhibit the behavior of not caring (by not giving the time of day, let alone a polite response).  It basically perpetuates itself.

The effects of being desensitized does not stop here and can be more widespread.  For instance, we may not offer the support to our friends that may be in relationship trouble.  We may simply just not care.  We may even offer the wrong advice or tell them to not worry about it because relationships are a dime a dozen.  When we have been out in the wild that is the adult dating for a while, people almost begin to feel…disposable.  I know it sounds harsh and awful, but it does happen.

The only reason I’m talking about this today is that I want people to be aware that adult dating can desensitize us to certain aspects of life and the effects can be insidious.  Realize that a certain amount of desensitization in the adult dating world can be positive, but it really should be kept in check.  This can only happen once you are aware of it’s existence.

Is there an end to the detriment that this behavior can exude left unleashed and unchecked?  I don’t have that answer and ultimately it is up to the individual as such effects are always unique to each individual.  However, I think that things can change when a person has success in the adult dating world and finds themselves in a relationship.  So, there is hope.

In the end, do not be afraid of being desensitized.  It may or may not happen.  Inevitably, your adult dating experiences will, like all experiences, lend themselves to shaping who you are.

We all know that there are many adult dating sites using compatibility tests to pair you up with an adult dating partner that will be your perfect match.  But, how much stock should we put into these tests?  Do they work?  Should you use such adult dating tools to tell you who to date?

It’s easy for us to believe what is presented to us, but how much faith should we have in these tools.  Certainly a good amount of research has gone into the development of compatibility tests.  The tests themselves are not new and have been around and developed over quite some time.  However, I think we are still quite far away from predicting and determining human behavior.

Certainly, there are factors to consider when using compatibility tests whether they be for the purpose of adult dating or some other use.  For instance, was the person taking the test honest?  Did they understand all of the questions presented to them and answer them accurately?  How well researched and thorough was the construction of the test?  How current was the data that was implemented in the forming of the test?  On the same hand, how truthful, honest and accurate are your responses?  How many factors comprise the makeup of the test itself?

So, you can see that there are many factors involved in determining the accuracy and validity of such test found on adult dating sites.  I would like to point you to “The Truth About Compatibility Testing“, which is a great article that contains quite a bit of information on this very topic and it’s involvement with regard to adult dating.

I’m sure you are familiar with horoscopes.  What do horoscopes have to do with online adult dating and compatibility tests?  I’m glad you asked.  See, there is a certain ambiguity associated with horoscopes.  Have you ever read a horoscope for a different sign and thought to yourself that it also applies to you?  And then read another and have the same thought.  And so on and son.  I feel that the same can apply to compatibility tests and personality tests alike.  A quick change or different answer here, a tweak there and the results can be completely different.  Not only that, you may lean in one personality direction one day and another the next.  Our emotions play a big roll in how we feel and also in determining our perceived personality.

Once you have taken a personality test, which is essentially what a compatibility test is comprised of, you will see your results and think, “hey, that is me”.  If you were to change your answers or read the other types of personalities you would probably also agree with much of what you find, much like the horoscope.  There is a term for just this type of occurrence.  It is known as “The Forer Effect“.  You should check out that article as well as researching it in Google.  It is fascinating and explains what you has probably already crossed your mind.  Here is the Google link:  Forer Effect

Please keep in mind that these are only my thoughts.  I’m simply trying to get the reader to question certain aspects of adult dating and the tools presented to us as to whether or not they are gimmicks or actually contain any merit.  In the end, take a few tests yourself and see if you think it is worth taking the time away from your normal adult dating time.  See how accurate the results are for you and whether or not the tests finds someone for you that you would not ordinarily have found on your own.

All in all, this is an interesting topic because some adult dating sites use such types of testing as their main marketing strategy to get you to join.  Do some testing on your own and make your own determination as to whether or not a handful of people doing research can pick out a better adult dating partner than you yourself can.

Happy adult dating and keep those thinking caps on.  Thanks for reading!