Adult Dating

Lets face it, when it comes to adult dating, people are not always genuine…or at least upfront.  Sure, it would be nice if people were forthcoming with their intentions, but that’s not how things work in the world, especially when it comes to online adult dating.

Obviously, in the adult dating world some people are “playas“.  What is not so obvious are the people that need to keep people on the peripheral.  The people who need satellites consisting of others that comprise or make up a support group.  The satellite individuals in this support group will never get to close to these needy people on any real type of intimate level concerning adult dating.  These satellites are not in “let’s just be friends land”, they are somewhere else.  Further out yet closer in some ways.

Each person has certain aspects to their personalities.  Almost to the effect of having different persona’s.  For instance, the fed up you, the happy you, the passionate about this or that you, this is your hobby, this is your pet peeve…  Chances are, you will not be able to find one person that agrees with everything you believe in, and this is natural.  Besides, who would want to be with someone that is on the exact same page as themselves?

Back to the point, sort of.  The person I’m talking about “needs” to find others to talk with concerning certain aspects of their persona’s.  They may need to feed the sex aspect of one of their inner personae but can’t do that with the people in their circle of friends that they interact with in day to day life.  They require something a little more…anonymous.  They may also require someone in their life that will satisfy the moral aspect of their personalities, akin to confessing to a priest.  Again, the theme here is that the target or satellite needs to be far enough away.  A certain impersonal requirement must be met in order to cultivate a sustained outlet for the satisfaction of the aspect at hand.

Online adult dating sites are a great way for people to meet others and find what they are looking for.  As a member of an adult dating site, you have to be aware that these people exist.  They are almost akin to the scammers that litter the Internet.  When you meet such a person, or are targeted by a person with such intentions, they will absolutely not tell you why they want a relationship with you.  They will not tell you what their intentions are because they may not even realize that they are in fact affected by the needs of certain aspects of their personae.   If they told you what they wanted from you from the beginning, this would not be a “problem”.  It would not be underhanded or shifty.

The bottom line is that while you are meeting people at an online adult dating site, beware of people like this.  They are a different breed of people that most people have a hard time spotting.  Maybe you chat with someone you met on an adult dating site and all they want to talk about is sex.  Maybe every conversation you have always turns into the same theme, every time you chat.  If so, this is a good indication that the person at the other end of the chat is using you to focus on and satisfy one of the needs that they have.  If you can never get out of the moral conversation and elevate it to something a little more “frisky” (which is normal between two people that are attracted to one another), then chances are you are simply the “moral” guy.  Similar to when you were in high school and the girl you liked was having sex with everyone else but never thought of you that way.

These types of people at adult dating sites can get your hopes up.  They can get you going in a sexual manner and in the opposite way as in, “This person is the one!  We click and see (this subject) the exact same way!”.  Of course, when you want to meet this person in person, they retreat and throw a weird vibe your way.  If you’ve had this happen to you then you know what I’m referring to.  Maybe it is starting to make sense to you now.

In closing, always go into any type of relationship with your eyes open.  Don’t give in blindly to your own needs and let others take advantage of you.  It is very easy to fall into this, especially when it comes to adult dating.  Once you are able to spot these types of people, you can either choose not to interact with them or you can accept them for who they are and still have fun and maintain a “different” type of adult dating relationship with them.  Once you have spotted them it is up to you to decide how you wish to proceed.

I hope this was clear enough and helpful to some of you.  Keep in mind that the above is only my opinion and how I see things.  It is not documented in terms of a psychological absolute (as far as I know).  This is just one of my personal theories.

Knowledge is power!  Have fun and have  fuitful and safe online adult dating experiences.

This article is a spin off from an adult dating tip article: Adult dating site tip for men

The adult dating article in the link concerns the use of a logical algorithm called “the law of averages”.  The adult dating article in the link concentrates on email.  In this adult dating article I am going to advance that idea and illustrate a more widespread type of thinking.  If you would like to increase your ability to find adult dating partners and increase the frequency of your adult dating experiences, please read on.

Many adult dating sites exist on the Internet today and that number is rapidly increasing.  Join as many adult dating sites as you can.  Let me repeat that, join as many adult dating sites as you can!  Variety is the spice of life and what works for one person may not work for another.  The concept of “I tried it and it didn’t work for me” applies to many instances in life, in business, and in online adult dating.  Just because one of your buddies or girlfriends found the love of their life at one adult dating site, does not guarantee you the same success.  You need to sample and try different adult dating sites to see which one suits you better.  There are several factors and reasons for being a member of more than one adult dating site.  The reason I’ve stated above is just one of them.

You may receive better results from one adult dating site rather than another simply because of that adult dating site’s popularity in your area.  Maybe that adult dating site targets it’s advertising campaign to your region as opposed to other regions.  Maybe that adult dating site just more of a “buzz” in your corner of the world as opposed to other adult dating sites.  This translates into more people on that adult dating site in your area versus other sites.

Perhaps your personality is more in line with other members of one adult dating site as opposed to another.  Just think, when you are out with your friends and you meet new people, don’t some of your friends fit in better at some places that you go to while you fit better into other places?  No one really knows why this happens, but it does happen.  The same unknown rules apply to the world of online adult dating.

Obviously, certain adult dating sites are geared toward sexual encounters while other adult dating sites are geared toward long term dating and yet other adult dating sites are geared toward more of a friend making crowd or networking (social sites ring a bell here).  Sometimes you may feel frisky (it’s normal).  Use the adult dating membership you have at a site geared for intimate encounters to act on that need.  Don’t use an adult dating site for long term dating for that.  Conversely, if you want to date interesting people for more than an intimate encounter, don’t use an adult dating site that it not tailored for that means.

Most importantly, in the adult dating world, put yourself out there.  You are basically advertising yourself.  This does not mean that you lie or embellish who you are, but it does mean that you have to let other people who are in the adult dating world know that you are too.  By joining numerous adult dating sites, you are putting yourself out there.  You are giving yourself a better chance to find opportunities that are in line with your adult dating needs.

Key points

• safety in numbers
• law of averages
• variety
• what works for me may not work for you
• location
• popularity in your area
• different adult dating demographics

Here are two links you can check in order to broaden your adult dating resources:

Adult Personals
Adult Dating

Thanks for reading.

One recurring theme that I see from the female members of online adult dating sites entails a concept that is out of sync with reality.  These women state that they are looking for their prince charming or their knight in shining armor.  The best one I’ve read goes something like this, “I would like to go to a nice restaurant and have a candlelight dinner for two and then a walk in the moonlight hand in hand”.  This is for a first date, mind you.  Others say that they want to be swept off their feet!

This is an online adult dating site!  The other members of the online adult dating site are REAL people!  Not made up characters.  Not figments of your imagination.  Yes, I know it’s the Internet and you have more people to choose from than the sampling you get at the local bars and clubs in your area, but come on.  Please, be realistic.  This is not a movie.  Life is not a movie.  Life does not imitate Hollywood movies.  If you expect life to resemble a movie, rent an indie flick.

Don’t forget, even though the members of the adult dating site are real, they are also real strangers.  Would you expect a guy you meet at a bar to call you a couple of times and then take you out on the perfect date, be the perfect gentleman, do all the right things and also be genuine?  Come on.  It’s a set up, it’s called “wine and dine”.  And you all know where that is supposed to lead.  In fact, if a guy does this for you, you would label him a “playa”.  See my post about playas here: The Playa

Ladies, you are talking out of both sides of your mouth on this one.  And that means that something has to give.  Also, you are arming all playas with the exact info that he needs to get what he wants from you.  Think about that.  You are setting yourself up for the exact opposite of what you want.

Aside from all of the above, you ladies never say what you have to offer.  Are you the perfect woman?  If so, explain why you think you are.  What makes you think you deserve this guy, if he exists in the online adult dating world, anyway.  Already with your demands you are saying how selfish and demanding you are.  Maybe you should add that to your profiles: “Also this perfect man must do everything I ask for and have the money to buy me all of the expensive unecessary items that I want”.  Ah, you didn’t want to add that last bit now did you, but you know you’re thinking it (and I know it too).

So, ladies, WAKE UP!  First off, you are not deserving of this yet.  You have to prove yourself too.  And, if this guy exists in the world, he is already taken.  Yes, I am going to burst your bubble now, he is TAKEN.  He has already found someone that appreciates his kindness.  Besides, you women don’t seem to like the nice guys anyway.  You say that you want a nice guy because you are sick of all of the games, yet you run to the guys playing the games.  That has something to do with “Rescue Fantasy” and I will be writing about it soon.

When I see profiles such as the one I’ve mentioned in this post it makes me laugh…and then it makes me spit.  Utterly ridiculous.  This is online adult dating, with real people, not once upon a time in Camelot.